Short-Short Stories
Prince Nicky learned about great whites. He whined until King Dad agreed (to one already dead). Whitey washed up on the swamp as he had on the beach.
Lillian the Taxidermist suggested stuffing and hanging Whitey above the door to the moat.
Nicky was happy. Ed was happy. Lillian was happy.
King Edward’s third daughter Princess Patty’s, favorite mule was Sullivan. Unfortunately, he had a very short tail and mane.
Then Patty met Rumpelstiltskin, who claimed to spin straw into gold. She immediately commissioned him to spin 27 feet.
Soon Sullivan sported gold plated dreadlocks and won the Halloween costume competition.
Robbie the Rooster was tired of hearing the debate: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? He was annoyed and insulted by the question. Robbie decided he would solve the problem.
He squashed the egg and divorced the chicken.
“There” he said, “see what you can do without me.”
When Ed learned of the Great Chinese Wall, he figured he needed one to protect his kingdom. The area had few rocks, but he came up with a brilliant solution.
He ordered the Head Gardener plant catnip along the border.
Thousands of stoned feral cats were discovered after the invasion.
Few peasants knew of the shortcut around the castle walls, and those that knew hesitated to use it.
When the bridge was down, a fellow could jump off and into the moat, swim around the castle and sometimes come up the other side.
If the crocodiles weren’t licking their chops.
King Edward’s dog, Alfred, wanted the curly tailed little bitch. He hounded her day and night, a proper stalker.
He dragged palace leftovers to her door. He peed in her yard.
Although a mongrel, she wanted no part of him. Alf howled.
Then the season changed, and she was his.
King Edward’s second favorite dog, Edgar, loved watching TV. His favorite rerun series featured a collie who rescued people.
When he saw an old man fall into a well, he ran like Secretariat to alert the King, barking all the way.
The King said, “Shut up.” The man died, too.